Have you ever seen that meme that says “being an adult is just deciding what you want to eat for dinner every night for the rest of your life“? I see a lot of Memes, and nothing comes even close to that as far as level of truth this goes.

I don’t know about you, but food is pretty much the center of my universe. I think about what I’m having for dinner on Tuesday when I am eating dinner on Monday at the absolute latest. Some people are not like this, and I have a hard time trusting them.

I love going out to eat. I also love a Friday night date night. However, after a long day for both of us, neither of us have the energy to pick a place to go and sometimes the most exciting places are already booked up by the time we do decide. This really ticks me off because by the time we decide, I’m already HANGRY.

Then, we end up defaulting to the same three or four restaurants on a recurring basis. We absolutely love these restaurants, but we live in a great food city and are really missing out on opportunities. So I took matters into my own hands!

For this life hack you only need two items: popsicle sticks and some kind of container. I had an old Yankee candle container with lid that I removed the wax from for mine, but a mason jar, small vase or any other cylindrical item will do.

Next, I wrote the names of our favorite familiar restaurants and new restaurants we have heard great things about or want to try. I color-coded my options thanks to colored popsicle sticks from the Dollar Tree – for example, the priciest restaurants are on green sticks (green for money, obviously) and the casual dining is on orange which has no real significance, but play along.

The rules are as follows: on Thursday night we will pick from the jar. This leaves plenty of time to call and make a reservation for Friday night. Most places won’t have a problem in our area for a table of two. If you do not like the selection or don’t have a taste for what you picked you can either a give an immediate change or select again. You then have to choose one of the two sticks you picked. You have already missed your opportunity to go rogue.

If you are not a big restaurant person and prefer to cook dinner at home, this hack could totally work just as well with meal ideas instead. Your sticks could have specific meals on them or even color-coded for different proteins to select based on what you know you already have in the house. If you are more adventurous in the kitchen, your sticks could have the name of different food categories Blake Mediterranean or Cajun. The possibilities are endless.

I should offer a disclaimer that this could either be the best idea ever or a big fat flop. It all depends on your person or people being flexible enough to trust the sticks. Here’s hoping it brings me some foodie joy and potentially some excitement in your household too.

What do you think, would this make life easier for you?

When I started my blog three months ago today (YAHOO!), I was unemployed and staying at home most of the time with no social life. Things have changed pretty dramatically since then. I was called back to work just two weeks later, and then I decided it would be a great idea to plan a wedding in three weeks time, all while maintaining my side hustle. Did I mention my side hustle is not my blog? So yeah, I guess you could say things got pretty busy pretty fast.

Leading up to my June 16th launch I spent hours and hours researching the necessary steps to start a blog and, of course, became consumed with articles from “professional bloggers“ and how they had monetized their blogs.

Titles like “How I made $10,000 in three months, how I landed my first brand deal and how to make money in your first month.The opportunity is intoxicating and the impression of how hard can it be? Spoiler alert: it’s really hard!

Have you seen those memes complaining about how a recipe website has a six page description of how that person learned to cook alongside their grandmother over a wood stove wearing a lobster shaped pot holders? Well, not exactly that meme but you get my drift. Did you know there are several actual reasons behind that? It all boils down to how you can get more people to read your website across search engines and social media. It’s a science and a skill.

Please note this article is not meant to complain about my chosen hobby as a blogger. Instead, my hope is to give mad props to anyone who has developed their own and to give an honest account of the entire process.

1. It takes way more time than you think

It takes WAY more time than you think to take really fancy and beautiful photos, write an article and post than you would ever imagine. In fact, whatever you think it would take, multiply that times five.

Over time, I have gotten so much better at being strategic with my time. I listened to some great podcasts (shout out to Thrive Podcast) about creating batch content and being more efficient with my time. Sometimes just coming up with the content ideas is the most time consuming and exhausting part!

Then, don’t forget you can’t just take pictures at any old time. If you’re shooting outside you need natural light, but not too much light, and all the right tools, and pray it doesn’t rain, and don’t forget to have your tools charged, and not too windy or your tripod will blow over. SHEESH! I already have PTSD.

One thing that helped was when I got back to work, I didn’t have the same amount of time to write my articles. I took advantage of my commutes to do talk to text as I came up with ideas or create the framework of my articles. You have to make it work for you!

2. Prepare to be embarrassed

Lucky for me, I totally missed the embarrassment gene. It takes a lot, and even still, rarely happens. BUT, there are cringeworthy moments nonetheless. For example, I am a 32 year-old woman and when I have my tripod set up on my front steps doing all sorts of goofy poses with a self timer and I hear the 4 year-old neighbor kid say “WHAT’S THAT LADY DOING?!” I want to shrivel up. Also, am I old enough to be a lady? FML.

You just have to own it! Act like you are that professional blogger making that dough, even when the closest you are getting is eating cookie dough.

Side note, have you seen that brands are coming out with “safe” edible cookie dough for those worried about salmonella? Just wondering what percentage of people were really NOT buying and eating it raw before because they were genuinely worried.

3. You need to know things

You just can’t “blog”. I mean, you can, but there are all sorts of rules you have to follow. Like – are you doing enough to “rank” on google searches? Are you using enough keywords (still don’t know what keywords are)? Is your title using enough uncommon words? What hashtags do you use? Are you scheduling your pins on Pinterest? What’s the optimal word count?

Yo, it’s a LOT! And to be honest, I can’t keep up most of the time. The other day, I paid someone on Fiverr to make some pins for my Pinterest because 1) I have no idea what I am doing and 2) who has all this time? but 3) apparently that’s important.

There are a TON of free resources and articles. I already mentioned podcasts, but do a quick Pinterest search (oh wait, THAT’S why it’s so important) and you’ll get up to speed.

4. You don’t make money right away (MOST of us)

I THINK I have a decent “following” for a regular person. I don’t think I’m necessarily interesting, but I’ve lived a few different places and done some cool things and met some amazing people that I have connected with over the years. When you do those things and you get to know people, that just happens.

However, my blog isn’t based on “selling” items. It’s an “inspo” blog to help people get excited about their closets and feeling great about themselves in what they are wearing. All the while doing it when you are in a rush. I have some key experience in this area.

To date, I have earned $4.35. That’s a real number. That said – I didn’t do this to make money, it’s just fun for me.

Unless you already know the things (see point three), this is a slow crawl. I can see how people buy into the blogging dream and then give up quickly. You’re reading all these romanticized articles about people making boatloads of money and then you don’t so you think you’re a failure. NOT TRUE. Most people spend YEARS building their brand and owning their content.

You can’t get discouraged. Hopefully, you started this because you just enjoy this subject matter so this shouldn’t be a huge issue. Apparently it is?

5. People are seriously amazing

Any time someone likes, shares or sends me a message about my blog I literally GLOW. It makes me feel like a superstar. I know I am not, but I am consistently surprised and touched and who engages with my content. Like I said above, it’s not a lot right now, and that’s ok.

So to those who have been cheering from the sidelines, you are the freaking bomb. You help make all the energy I put into this worth it.

Worried about how your group will react? Just do it. You may be surprised and who steps up and supports you. For a blogger, every single like, share or comment is a dang TREAT. If I haven’t said it enough to my hype squad – THANK YOU – for being alongside me.

In conclusion…

If you have a skill or an interest and are on the fence about starting a blog. Do it. Do it now. Don’t wait until it’s perfect or until “you have more time”. I can promise you that day is not coming. Do it for YOU. It’s been a fun three months and each week I feel like I’m finding my voice even clearer.

Peace, love and champagne!

Funny story… When I was right out of college, my dream was to work for The Knot (a wedding website where I had dreamed up and designed several weddings with imaginary husbands-to-be since high school). When I sent in my cover letter – two days later I realized I never updated the company within my template so it said something along the lines of, “I would be an ideal candidate for COMPANY XYZ”. Needless to say, I didn’t get called for an interview and I sulked… for a long time. Ten years later, it still haunts me.

Why does this even matter? I’m a COVID bride. I’ve been dreaming of my wedding for as long as I can remember. However, in 2020, that cover letter has basically been traded for a Save The Date that lists “Hope you’ll join us for our wedding on XYZ DATE”. Ouch. 

My fiancé and I (who have been together for seven and a half years, engaged for two and a half) were supposed to get married on May 29th. Then, back in March I saw the writing on the wall and we rebooked for November 14th. I felt pretty superior for a while for getting ahead of things so quickly, not going to lie. (hilarious)

Then, when the restrictions were clearly not improving rapidly enough to be in the clear by then, we knew the right thing to do would be to cancel and do a small ceremony to just. get. married. You know, what weddings are about in the first place. 

I’m unnaturally optimistic. There is always a silver lining in all situations. Negative people are actually painful for me to be around. Yesterday, that sunshine attitude came to a screeching halt. Our dining room table has been wedding command center since March – covered in invitations and ribbons and wax seals. Then, as I got incredibly generous cards and notes on what would have been my shower day, they accumulated there. Oh, and then our NEW wedding invitations came for November, followed by more lovely mementos we received on our would-have-been wedding date. And finally, our cancelation notices. 

The last cancelation notice has gone out and the table is now empty. That’s when it finally hit me. Even though we, like many others, are planning an intimate event in the interim with a “big wedding” eventually, it still gives me a lump in my throat to know this is not what I/we have always dreamed about. 

Everyone I talk to knows at least one of “those couples”. Here’s what COVID brides want you to know (well, my version at least)…

1. This sucks and we’re bitter.

If anyone would like to try to tell me otherwise, I will do my best to resist the urge to kick you in the shin. Whether your ideal wedding includes five people or 500 people, in a backyard or banquet hall – most couples only need to think about if it will rain on their wedding day. Now, instead of worrying about it raining, replace that with worry if all of your guests will have to wear masks, if they feel comfortable coming at all or if you will have to slice your guest list by 75%.

I would trade all of this for a downpour on our original wedding date and I’m sure every other COVID bride feels exactly the same way. 

It’s so easy to feel bad for ourselves and I have had a few down days. I have invested in, attended and help celebrate dozens of brides and their weddings. Why is mine the one that has to be like this? Ugh. This does suck.

2. We feel so guilty

Some days I feel guilty as heck for all the love and support I have been shown. I had a bridal shower parade outside my house and I had cookies and flowers and beautiful baskets delivered on our “wedding day” and even a Zoom party. I also have bridesmaids and friends who had to invest in and re-plan for showers and bachelorette. I feel horrible that they will not get that time back in some cases even get money back.

Now, I not only got extra attention on our original shower dates and May wedding date, I’m expecting our bridal party and family to come together for our small ceremony in a few weeks and then eventually our large party whenever that will be. I never wanted people to have to work so hard to celebrate our marriage. While I am so grateful, I also am embarrassed by all the extra attention. 

Not to mention, for those who didn’t get their showers or bachelorettes, we are going to eventually want those! We feel bummed that we are missing them, but guilty for expecting people to rally once this is all over, and also worried that they won’t! 

3. Details are stressing us TF out

I am a creative person. I think about what I am going to get someone for a party without ever thinking to write down the date of it. So when it comes to wedding planning, if you want to talk decor – I’m your girl. If you want to ask about logistics, excuse me while I go crawl under a rock.

Yes these are incredibly important and NECESSARY, but as soon as I start thinking about transportation and timelines, I lose the joy of the day. For most of us right now, we’re only talking about 25 people at this point. Why is this more intimidating than 250? I can’t explain why, but it is. 

Ask us the fun questions instead… and also, give us wine (or Starbucks) to keep us happy, ok? 

4. What even is etiquette?

Just an FYI, there are no articles that tell you the proper etiquette for when to send thank you notes for a shower that was canceled, intended to be rescheduled and then that person is no longer invited to your intimate wedding ceremony and you have no idea when your reception is. (REAL scenario for me and several of my guests. I swear my eyes have gone googly by now)

There are 1 million other scenarios like that one that no bride in our lifetime has had to navigate. Remember, many of us are still holding out hope that our plans may be able to happen and are waiting on further information to start the domino effect of next steps in either direction.

Please don’t get mad at us if we aren’t operating the way you would in this same situation. We love you and sometimes all of this uncertainty makes us freeze and do nothing in fear of doing it wrong. 

5. TELL us how you want to help

If I hear, “let me know how I can help” one more time, I may lose it. I know that sounds super bratty, and I don’t intend it to, but if you see point number two, some of us are trying to take all of the stress on for all of our family and friends. 

I don’t want to ask for help and, frankly, I don’t know what is too much to even ask. If your COVID bride is talking about things she has left to accomplish and something she says sounds like you could take it on for her, just tell her you will and INSIST.

This will be more appreciated than you can even imagine. It takes one less thing off her plate AND she doesn’t need to feel bad about imposing on you. If you can’t offer or aren’t sure you can deliver, don’t. She will not hold it against you!!

6. Don’t shame COVID decisions

Everyone has a right to feel differently about the world right now. I can promise that every guest attending our “mini-monies” has been encouraged to do what they feel comfortable doing. If they want to wear a mask, no one will shame them for it. If people want to take pictures without masks while less than 6 feet apart, these consenting adults have thought about and considered all risks before partaking.

Brides and grooms are not expecting anyone to put their health in harm’s way without making their own decisions. Most of us have also thought about things like hand sanitizer bottles at each table, water bottles versus shared dispensers, less crowded tables and individual glasses for the duration. Another stressor “normal” brides didn’t have do consider.

7. Understand we didn’t want this either

If your COVID couple is doing a small ceremony and you did not make the cut, recognize that they probably do want you there, but things are out of their control.

None of us want to be in the position where our party gets broken up due to too many people, get a venue in trouble, or do they want to be responsible for hurting any feelings if other guests see photos of you there. NOR do they want to contribute to the spread of the virus with a larger pool of guests present.

We had 230 people on our guest list. Now we have 25 including us! It breaks our hearts that we will not celebrate this occasion with every single person we wanted to invite. We would give anything to have you there!

8. Help us be excited

I am in a wedding Facebook group called “Bridechilla”. Highly recommend both the podcast and the community if you are planning a wedding! One bride there said it best. She said something to the effect of, I feel like I have to comfort other people about our wedding being canceled. I am sure the people she is referring to mean well, but instead of sharing pity with us, help us feel excited for whatever their next option might be. I’ve heard so many times: “I feel so bad for you” to which I reply “oh, it’s ok!”. In my head it’s not ok, but we feel like the brave face is necessary.

This is another instance where even if you would do things differently, embrace their choices and help lift them up. The cards have been stacked against us – help us count down, ask us the fun questions (see #3) and send us fabulous wedding memes!

We NEED the positivity. 

9. Why is this so expensive??

If you have ever planned or paid for a wedding, you know it is expensive. Try planning two! Or, in some cases three if your wedding was already postponed, rescheduled and then canceled again.

COVID brides have likely put down deposits for all of their major vendors already. Most are not refunding these deposits, just rolling over to another date. Totally fine. But that is money that we do not have to spend towards this smaller event.

Not to mention several brides bought original invitations, updated invitations and now cancellation notices (ok it’s me, I am several brides) which triples the original stationery budget. Imagine what else has tripled. Yikes!

Even when we are keeping things small, there are plenty of hidden costs and duplicate expenses that exist if you are still trying to make it as magical as possible. Again, knowing this is not required to have a wedding, it still makes the day feel special when everything around it has not. We don’t need Pinterest weddings, but if a backyard event wasn’t your original vision, it’s hard to shake the “extra”. 

10. We are still getting married. 

Hey, OMG! This is the best part about all of this, that we still get to celebrate with (a small amount of) loved ones and be married at the end of it. YAY!

Sometimes I feel like less than a bride. Like because I am not having the wedding we would have wanted it doesn’t count. And, on the flip-side, I worry that when we do have our vow renewal and raucous celebration, people won’t think it is special because we are “already married”.

We can’t win and we fight this internal fight every dang day. 

In conclusion… 

Send your Covid bride a virtual hug right now… no really, right now. Let her know you think she is a badass for how she is handling this crappy situation. Tell her she is going to make a beautiful bride and you’re going to celebrate on her day (whether you’ll be with her or not). Let her know that when this is all over she gets to be a wife and her marriage will get to be celebrated the way she always wanted.

Last but not least, pray for the sunniest most perfect-weather day for that couple, because I can promise you, they deserve it.

Raise your hand if you ever stand in your closet, stare at your clothes and say “I have nothing to wear”. Raise your hand if you get a huge confidence boost when someone compliments your look. And lastly, raise your hand if you think that a great outfit can change your attitude. If you raised your hand at least once, keep reading. And by “raised your hand” I mean agreed silently, because let’s face it, even when we write LOL, we are usually not actually laughing so I definitely don’t expect you to act like you’re back in school while reading this.

Still with me? Ok, grool. During “quarantine”, I emptied out ALL of our closets in our home. They were mostly full of…. my clothes. I sorted through every single article of clothing, tried it on, possibly did some weeping when they didn’t fit the same way and decided its fate. We’re talking items I’ve had since HIGH SCHOOL. I know, you’re looking at me thinking, big deal, that was only a few years ago for her ;-). Anyway, THREE HUNDRED PIECES LATER…… now in garbage bags full of donations and hand me downs made me realize not only that I am a borderline hoarder, but that it was time to downsize my wardrobe collection.

That said, I live for variety, looking cute and feeling fabulous and I’m not ready to sacrifice any of those parts of my style. So I gave myself a mental challenge: wear the pieces you love, but find different ways to wear them. I have so many items that I only wear with one or two other separates. It’s time to think bigger and live dangerously (overstatement, but work with me here). Instead of categorizing items like “work pants”, “dress skirt”, etc. Let’s make those pants work for an evening out somehow and find a way for that skirt to be something I run errands in.

Since most of what I’m working with are closet DINOSAURS, there aren’t a lot of those exact items still in stores, but I will link to similar items if you are feeling so inclined. I’m going to try to focus on keeping all linked items between $25 – $50. I get so frustrated when I see a cute top on social media and I click through and it’s…. $96! Trust me, if I lived that life, I would totally go for it. Well, actually, even if I did live that life, the thrill of a deal is something I live for.

I’ve been styling myself for approximately 30 years (Mom, can you confirm?) and I’ve been styling others through my personal branding and pageant consulting business for a decade. I’ll pass down tricks of the trade and explain why pieces work together and why they won’t in the hopes that you, too, can feel more empowered to take risks you wouldn’t have considered before. I also know that not everyone has my body type, and silhouettes are not one size fits all. I’ve got you covered there, too. 

We are doing this. We are going to rediscover our closets and throw things together that we never would have tried before. We are going to pull out tops, skirts, jackets, accessories that maybe haven’t gotten love in a while and make them fabulous so we feel fabulous. We are going to redefine what style is for ourselves. And it’s going to be really fun.